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Best Week Ever
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The very best of everything, every day, all day.
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BEST OF THE BWE: It Begins And Ends With Kanye
 Well we started the week by totally tricking you guys into thinking Kanye West would spend his Labor Day guest-blogging for us, and we're going to conclude the week with my live reports all this weekend from the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, at which Kanye will be performing. It's the circle of blog-life, and here's everything that happened in between:
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EBOLA FRIDAY: Baby-t Box
It's Ebola Friday. You know the drill.
Good luck sleeping this weekend!
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If Usher Was Vishnu, This Is What He?d Do All Day Long
He'd just rub himself. With all of his arms. In fact, if he had 2 or even 4 more arms, he could use each one to point at every single one of his abs.
Edited to add: Long pants crotch.
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Where Are Your PETA Gods Now?
Copyranter (via Defamer) brings us the following ad promoting the movie Knocked Up in New Zealand, which uses tadpoles and a fish-food soaked sponge to recreate the sperm heading towards the egg, Look Who's Talking style:
Now, most of you will have to admit that this is a pretty brilliant campaign. But my question is: WHERE IS PETA? These pool little tadpoles are being held PRISONER in a corporate ad used to promte a SETH ROGEN movie about PREGNANCY. Oh, hey little tadpole, you wanna go grow legs and hop out onto the river bank and be a little frog and take a little ol' frog nap? Of course! Just do us one quick favor: MMM... Look like a sperm for as long as possible on a bus stop wall, and then we can maybe negotiate things a few months down the line.
So where are your PETA asses now? I don't hear you! Why so quiet? Is it because you can't pet a tadpole? You can't put pictures of tadpoles on tote bags to show all your friends how big your heart is? IS IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE EARS? (AND POSSIBLY NOSES OR EVEN FACES?) I assure you, if it was Kermit the Actual Frog's giant green ass suffocating behind that glass, you'd be freeing it as we speak. Which leads me to only one conclution:
Dear PETA,
You sicken me.
Sincerely,
Michelle "Tadpole Fan" Collins
See Also:An Open Letter to PETA & Shut-Up PETA
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Remember When Arli$$ Changed Television?
EW.com is currently running a feature entitled "The 39 HBO Series That Changed TV". Even bearing in mind that these lists are usually just conversation pieces designed to coincide with something topical (in this case, the premiere of True Blood), this one seems pretty exceptionally bombastic.
First off, how many times has television been "changed?" Thirty-nine times in the last two decades? Two times per year, we thought television was one thing and then it became another thing as a result of something that aired on HBO?
Second, and much more importantly, this strikes the entire list from the record:
Sorry, Sopranos.
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AD WIZARDS: You?re Definitely Going To Need Mr. T?s Flavorwave Turbo
Guys, I'm gonna need you to take a quick gander at this infomercial for Mr. T's revolutionary new home appliance, the Flavorwave Turbo. First of all, that is hands down the greatest name of a product probably ever. Secondly, the contraption looks sort of like a Foreman Grill in some kind of futuristic crock pot with a bicycle helmet on top of it that the Ghostbusters would use to dispose of ectoplasm. I pity the fool who doesn't want to do all their cooking in this revolutionary device. Also, it uses three kinds of cutting edge, highly scientific heat sources - one of which is generated directly from Mr. T's muscles - to cook your meat with 75% less fat. This is truly the A-Team of kitchen appliances.
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Don?t Forget To Check BWE.tv This Weekend For All My VMA Coverage!
 Britney's opening the show, Kanye's closing it, those adorable Jonas Brothers are going to be there and so am I! So don't just watch the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday night - instead share the experience, here, with me (and with our friends over at Buzzworthy)! I'll be hitting some of the big parties and trying to chat up all the celebs. Mostly I'll just be trying check out Russell Brand to see if he's worthy of being my new mancrush, and also looking to meet Michael Phelps in person so I can finally confirm my suspicions once and for all (and hope he doesn't get too handsy with me in the process). I'm also hoping to liveblog the big event from the event, bringing you the blow by blow on whatever Britney ultimately has in store for us. It should be fun, but it will definitely be something, so I hope that you'll join me.
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Who Will Be Cast In The New Ghostbusters Movie?
 Well, it's official: Production has begun on a Ghostbusters Threequel, precise title as yet unknown. Columbia pictures has put Office Co-Executive Producers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky to the task of writing the latest installment, almost 25 years after the original hit the theaters. Which leads one to wonder: Who, prey tell, will be chosen to play our beloved Ghostbusters and company?
So without further ado, in the order they are listed on IMDB, here are BWE's Ghostbuster 3 Casting Predicitions:
Dr. Peter Venkman (formerly Bill Murray) WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Bill Murray
No one can top him. Just no one. In fact, the only person we can picture out Bill Murraying Bill Murray is...
BWE DREAM PICK: Dave Coulier
Dave Coulier. It only seems fitting that the voice behind Peter Venkman in "Extreme Ghostbusters", "The Real Ghost Busters", and "Slimer! And the Real Ghostbusters" finally be given his shot at stardom on the big screen. And if you've seen even a single episode of America's Funniest People, you know I'm right. Put a proton pack on this guy's back and be amazed at his ~methods~. (Private Ed. Note to Casting Directors: Give Dave a chance, eh? He's a pretty good guy who just has a case of the "bad lucks".)
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Seth Rogen
Why? Because he's Seth Rogen, America's premiere comedy star. And the movie will most likely be directed by one of his friends. That's why.
Dr. Raymond Stantz (formerly Dan Aykroyd)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Hugh Jackman
(Tappedy Tap Tap Tap) What's that you hear? Why, it's Hugh Jackman jazzin' it up on the stage of Ghostbusters 3: The Ghostical with The Mostical! People rarely give pretty boy Hugh Jackman due credit. Sure, he's a handsome tall man with rock hard abs and an Aussie accent. But under all that muscle and tan and perfect amount of chest hair is a true actor, a comedian, who can basically tackle any part thrown his way. What other actor would be able to convey equal parts scientist and skeptic if not for Hugh? And for those who think Dan Aykroyd could still pull off the role, let me offer you this picture. No thank you.
BWE DREAM PICK: Javier Bardem
Why not? He makes every movie he's in even better by just being Javier. Plus, we needed a good reason to post the above photo of him, the entirety of which can be seen here. He'd be the kind of guy on set to put his Oscar in the ghost trap and just laugh and laugh. They would have a time! And admit it: Ghostbusters 3 starring Javier Bardem would make your life.
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Seth Rogen
We're just going to assume that Seth Rogen will play anywhere from 2 to 4 parts in the upcoming Ghostbusters remake. And if Vigo the Carpathian is in it, make that 5 parts.
Ahead, our casting predictions continue for the remainder of the large cast. Let us know if you agree with any of our choices in the comments.Dana Barrett (formerly Sigourney Weaver)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Tea Leoni
Poor Tea. Here's a beautiful, talented, funny actress, who has been drawing the short straw both personally and professionally for years. Not only was her hubby David Duchovny just admitted into rehab for being a sex addict, but it looks like the only movie she has in the works is an independent film entitled Manure. Throw Tea a bone for God's sake! She's worth it.
BWE DREAM PICK: Dame Helen Mirren
Do we need to explain? Let's class this Ghostbusters 3 joint up a bit, yes?
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Jessica Alba
Clearly, casting directors will go with the choice of Jessica Alba, recent mother and star... of such filmm -- films (yaaaawnnnn) as The FantasssticFourand also another movie (head down)that was called Snooze. (snooze)Dr. Egon Spengler (formerly Harold Ramis)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Tim Robbins
What what!! Timmay Robbinnnnns! In all seriousness, Tim Robbins would knock this role out of the park. He's got that whole attractive/weirdo quality that makes him not only a fantastic actor, but also highly political. Slap a pair of Lennon frames on that face, grow the mop out, and it's "Dr. Spengler, I Presume?" all the way.
BWE DREAM PICK: Bob Balaban
Because of the glasses.
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Paul Rudd
Seeing as Paul Rudd is the most perfect person alive, I have absolutely no problem awarding him this role and/or publishing the aforementioned photo of him writhing around in some sheets. He's a little small for the part (I picture Spengler as being like a Jewish Manute Bol) but, as long as Rene Russo isn't cast opposite, we doubt this will be a problem. And if Rene Russo IS cast, our vote for Dr. Spengler goes to Tom Berenger. With the chemistry with those two? I swear.
Louis Tully (formerly Rick Moranis)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Masi Oki
America's favorite nerd. He deserves it. Also, the movie would benefit from a little ~Asian Flava~.
BWE DREAM PICK: Jeremy Irons
Because of the glasses.
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Jonah Hill
Because of the fatness.
Janine Melnitz (formerly Annie Potts)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Velma from Scooby Doo
It seems only fair that Annie Potts' identical twin Velma from Scooby Doo get the role she was almost born to play. Why stop at CGI Slimer?
BWE DREAM PICK: Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin may "say" she's a politician at heart, but let's face it: Here's a girl who just wants to be in the spotlight, any way she can. So why get all "political" what with your beehive and guns and glasses and teen babies, when instead, you could just become a movie star. Look what the role did for Annie Potts!! I don't see Dick Cheney starring in Julie Reno: Bounty Hunter, do you?
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Kate Winslet
Put a red wig on this one and it's Awards show gold. And clearly, she'll be happy to take the part. For every Little Children and Finding Neverland, there's a Flushed Away and The Holiday. Just sayin.
Winston Zeddmore (formerly Ernie Hudson)WHO SHOULD PLAY IT: Romany Malco
He's adorable, funny and, most importantly, black. It's a homerun.
BWE DREAM PICK: Morgan Freeman
You might not think Freeman would stoop down to the khaki-suited level of Ghostbusters. And for that, we have only Evan Almighty Bruce Almighty words to say to you: He'd totally do it.
WHO WILL PLAY IT: Jaden Smith
Watch out Morgy Freeman: Jaden Smith is hot on your tail. He's already broken away from the stranglehold of father Will, and we're sure his agents are on the blood prowl for that breakout part. So what if he's only 4 years old? Have you ever heard of a term called "child ghost genius"? Exactly.
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10 Speech Backgrounds Designed To Make John McCain Look Less Pale
After watching John McCain's Convention Speech last night in front of an alternating bright green background, a bright blue background, and an apparent Flonase commercial, it's clear that the Republican presidential nominee is in dire need of some less vibrant, less pastel-ey backgrounds to draw attention away from his overwhelmingly pale television facade. Here are ten suggestions:
1. Core Of The Sun
2. The Dude From "Powder"
3. Abominable Snowman
 4. The White Album
5. Freshman Dorm Room
6. Friends
7. Bread & Water
8. Joe Biden
9. Penn State Home Game
10. Republican National Convention
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Javier Bardem Is So Sexy It Makes Him Cry
Thank you New York Times Style Magazine called "T". Thank you. Sometimes I look at Javier Bardem and I just wonder...what is he thinking? What sort of wonderful sexy intelligent artistic thoughts are rolling around in that beautiful head of his? Might I venture a guess?
 I'm so vulnerable right now...hold me...[sniff]...
and by me, I mean, my special "friendo" in my pants. Oh, I didn't see you there. Well, I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm painting a portrait of you. Want to see it? Come over here and take a look - it's inside my pants.
(via ONTD)
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